Post Holiday

I'm in a post holiday letdown mood. Today was not a good day. I felt like everyone was a grouch, and they kept sending "bad energy" my way. And I don't even believe in all that jazz.

My first mistake was going to Wal-Mart. That is usually enough to put me in a bad mood. I wanted to use some of my leftover Christmas money to buy a humidifier. My house is dry as the Sahara desert. We wake up in the morning with killer dry mouth. Your lips feel like you have been licking sandpaper all night. So I wanted to buy one of those massive, easy care units to leave on permanently, in hopes that some moisture would return to Death Valley.

Purchases in tow, I walked my big tummy and cart to the nearest checkout lady. She didn't have any customers, and was standing at the end of her aisle. She saw me coming, smiled, and said, "I can help you here." Then, from out of nowhere, a woman with a HUGE cartload of groceries flew around me and cut me off. I just started in disbelief at the vixen. Well, whatever. A nearby aisle was also open, so I just diverted there. I just couldn't believe that someone could be so rude!

So soon I was checked out and on my way out the door. Now, you know for some reason Wal-Mart is incredibly insane about security. If you buy batteries or VHS tapes in the electronics aisle, you have to pay for them back there. They won't let you out with your 3.99 batteries. I guess I can understand they have a lot of losses on DVD's and CDS, but for gods sake let me pay for smaller items with the rest of my groceries.

Anyway, I'm pushing my cart out the door with my kid playing happily. I have in my cart the three items I have purchased which include the humidifier and two white bath towels. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a disembodied voice starts giving me instructions to stop. This mechanical voice scares the crap out of my kid, who begins wailing at the top of his lungs. I continue on my way, as these stupid security gates go off on a regular basis. I have never actually seen anyone ever stop for one. All of the sudden, I am practically grabbed by the crazy old coot greeter who declares, "You have set off the security alarm," In a crappy rude way. He glances suspiciously at my bag.

I sigh, and hand him the receipt. Meanwhile, my kid is still screaming, this time at the crazy old coot. "You see," I say, "I just bought these three things and I paid for them." I was thinking he would just let me go, but NOOOOO.

He mumbles something under his breath, grabs my humidifier and receipt and says, "I'll be back." What? Can't you SEE I bought the damn thing? I have a PROOF OF PURCHASE! Anyway, I stood there, fuming, while the little man ran off with my merchandise and receipt, while my kid continued to wail. Sigh. Some days you just can't win.

What seemed like decades later, the man comes back, gives me my stuff, and indicates that I'm free to go. It's great to know that I won't get arrested for attempted humidifier and or towel robbery!

My child is still upset, and I across the palatial parking lot. I stick him and my purchases in the car, noticing that I was not parked in a convenient location to the cart return. Normally, I always return my cart, but as my child was screaming his head off, and I wasn't feeling that great due to being 8 months pregnant, I felt this was an okay time to just leave the cart parked between the aisles. As I left the cart, a middle-aged man comes up to me, gives me a crappy look and then points to the cart return. "It's just right over there," He says accusingly, waiting for me to return the cart.

I just stared at him unbelievingly. "Right," I said, heading for my car.
He sighed, gave me A LOOK, and them proceeded to grab my cart and head for the return.
"Thanks!" I said brightly, closing my car door.

When I got in my car, it hit me what a colossal jerk that guy was. Plus, my kid was still crying. I put my head down on the steering wheel, took a few deep breaths, and then started feeling around the back seat for kid snacks and a sippy cup. A few gulps later, my kid was quiet, and I was headed home, away from the crazy people in a post-holiday world.